There is a version of you that is extremely competent. It wakes at a considered hour, follows a system, tracks its inputs and outputs, and moves through the world with a practised efficiency that others sometimes mistake for calm. It has opinions about sleep hygiene. It is never more than two days behind on email. It has learned, through considerable effort, to respond rather than react, to pause before speaking, to sit with discomfort before getting on with being a high-func

There is a kind of person who has their life together. They show up. They deliver. They listen well at dinner parties, handle crisis with apparent equanimity, and never seem to fall apart at inconvenient moments. They may even be admired for their resilience, their groundedness, their capacity to absorb difficulty without visible effect. I have been that person. And I want to tell you something about it: it isn't the same as healing. Not even close.