There is a kind of person who has their life together. They show up. They deliver. They listen well at dinner parties, handle crisis with apparent equanimity, and never seem to fall apart at inconvenient moments. They may even be admired for their resilience, their groundedness, their capacity to absorb difficulty without visible effect. I have been that person. And I want to tell you something about it: it isn't the same as healing. Not even close.