Meaning Without Purpose: What Shamanic Practice Taught Me About Existentialism

Here's something that surprised me about shamanic practice: it didn't give me cosmic purpose. It didn't reveal that everything happens for a reason. It didn't show me a grand plan I'm meant to fulfill.

What it did was show me how to create meaning in a universe that offers none.

This sounds bleak. It's not. It's actually profoundly liberating.

Let me explain what I mean by distinguishing two things that often get confused: meaning and purpose.

The choice of meaning in your life is yours

Purpose vs. Meaning

Purpose: A predetermined goal, plan, or reason for existence built into the fabric of reality. "Everything happens for a reason." "You were put here for a specific mission." "There's a cosmic plan you're serving."

Meaning: The significance, value, or sense-making we create through our engagement with life. The felt quality of mattering, of connection, of experience being rich rather than empty.

The crucial distinction: You can have profound meaning without cosmic purpose. You can live a deeply meaningful life in a universe that has no plan for you.

This is essentially the existentialist insight. But I learned it through shamanic practice, not philosophy books.

What I Expected Shamanism to Provide

When I began shamanic training, part of me hoped for answers to the big questions:

Why am I here? What's the point of suffering? Is there a reason things happen the way they do? Am I fulfilling my soul's purpose?

I wanted the spirits to tell me there was a plan. That my life had predetermined significance. That nothing was random or meaningless.

This is what a lot of spiritual seekers want: reassurance that the universe cares about them, that their struggles mean something cosmically, that they're here for a reason.

What Shamanic Practice Actually Revealed

The spirits I work with - the ancestors, Jaguar, Hummingbird, Eagle - they don't provide cosmic reassurance. They don't tell me everything happens for a reason. They don't give me a predetermined purpose to fulfill.

What they do:

• Help me see patterns in my life

• Offer guidance for navigating difficulty

• Show me how to be in right relationship

• Facilitate healing of what's wounded

• Connect me to something larger than myself

• Help me understand suffering without making it 'meaningful' in a cosmic sense

  
  

Example:

After significant loss, I journeyed asking, "Why did this happen? What's the purpose?"

I expected, and hoped for, some revelation about karmic lessons or divine plans.

Instead, Jaguar showed me: "There is no why. Loss is part of life. What matters is how you meet it. Will you let it close you or crack you open?"

This wasn't the comfort I wanted. But it was more honest, and more useful, than reassuring lies about cosmic purpose.

The Existentialist Connection

I later discovered existentialist philosophy says essentially the same thing:

Jean-Paul Sartre: "Existence precedes essence." You exist first; you create your essence through choices. There's no predetermined nature or purpose.

Albert Camus: Life is absurd; there's no inherent meaning. But we can create meaning through passionate engagement despite the absurdity.

Simone de Beauvoir: Freedom is terrifying because there's no script. But this freedom is also what makes authentic life possible.

Viktor Frankl: You can't always control what happens to you, but you can choose what it means. Meaning is created, not found.

The existentialist claim: The universe doesn't care about you. There's no cosmic plan. But you can still live a profoundly meaningful life.

This used to sound nihilistic to me. Shamanic practice taught me it's actually liberating.

Why Purpose Can Be a Burden

The belief in cosmic purpose creates several problems:

Problem 1: It Makes Suffering a Puzzle

If everything happens for a reason, suffering needs explanation. "Why did this happen to me?" "What's the lesson I'm supposed to learn?" "What did I do to deserve this?"

These questions assume your suffering has cosmic significance, that it's part of a plan.

But what if sometimes bad things just happen? What if there's no lesson, no reason, no karmic debt being paid?

The relief: You don't have to make sense of senseless suffering. You just have to find ways to bear it and, if possible, to grow through it.

Problem 2: It Creates Pressure to Find Your Purpose

"What's your life purpose?" "What are you meant to do?" "Why are you here?"

These questions imply there's a right answer you're supposed to discover. And if you haven't found it, you're failing somehow.

The relief: You don't have a purpose to find. You have a life to live. You create significance through how you engage, not by discovering a predetermined script.

Problem 3: It Can Justify Harm

"Everything happens for a reason" becomes "Your trauma happened to teach you a lesson" or "This abuse was meant to make you stronger."

This is spiritually bypassing suffering. It makes victims responsible for making meaning of harm done to them.

The reality: Some things happen for no reason except that humans hurt each other. The meaning you create from surviving is yours. It's not some cosmic plan. It's a choice.

Problem 4: It Diminishes Choice

If you're here for a specific purpose, your choices matter less. You're either fulfilling the plan or failing to. Free will becomes illusory.

The liberation: Without predetermined purpose, your choices actually matter. You're creating your life, not discovering a script.

What Meaning Looks Like Without Purpose

So if there's no cosmic purpose, where does meaning come from?

Source 1: Relationship

I work with spirits, such as spirit animals, ancestors, helping guides. These relationships are profound, transformative, sustaining.

But I don't think these relationships were cosmically ordained. They emerged through practice, intention, and mutual recognition.

The meaning comes from the relationship itself, not from some plan that required this specific connection.

The shift: Instead of "I was meant to work with the ancestors," it's "Working with the ancestors is profoundly meaningful to me."

That's enough. It doesn't need cosmic justification.

Source 2: Practice

My shamanic practice gives my life meaning. The daily journey, the work with clients, the ongoing development of skill and relationship.

But I don't think I was 'meant' to be a shaman. I chose it. It chose me, perhaps. But not because of cosmic design, but because of how our paths intersected.

The shift: Instead of "I'm fulfilling my purpose as a healer," it's "I've created a life where healing work is central and meaningful."

Source 3: Service

Helping clients heal, facilitating transformation, holding space for others' growth is deeply meaningful to me.

But I'm not serving a cosmic plan. I'm responding to suffering I encounter with skills I've developed. The meaning emerges from the doing.

The shift: Instead of "I'm meant to help these specific people," it's "Helping is meaningful work I've chosen."

Source 4: Beauty and Awe

Journeying to non-ordinary reality, encountering mystery, experiencing states of consciousness that transcend ordinary awareness - these are meaningful.

But not because they reveal cosmic truth. Because they're experiences of depth, beauty, and connection that enrich being alive.

The shift: Instead of "These experiences prove there's a plan," it's "These experiences make life feel significant and rich."

Source 5: Creating Value

I value compassion, honesty, growth, connection, beauty. These values weren't given to me by the universe. I've chosen them through lived experience and reflection.

The meaning comes from living according to values I've chosen, not from fulfilling values imposed from outside.

The shift: Instead of "I must live this way because it's my purpose," it's "I choose to live this way because these values feel true to who I am."

The Shamanic-Existentialist Synthesis

Here's what combining shamanic practice with existentialist philosophy has taught me:

The universe doesn't have a plan for you. There's no cosmic purpose you're supposed to fulfill, no predetermined reason you're here.

But you're not alone in meaninglessness. Through practice, you can connect to spirits, ancestors, helping guides. These relationships are real even if not cosmically ordained.

Meaning is created through engagement. The more fully you engage with life, with practice, with relationships, with challenges, the more meaning emerges.

Suffering doesn't need justification. Sometimes terrible things happen for no reason. The meaning comes from how you meet suffering, not from understanding why it happened.

Choice is real and heavy. Without predetermined purpose, your choices create who you are. This is terrifying and beautiful.

Mystery remains. Consciousness, spirits, synchronicity, healing: these are mysterious. But mystery doesn't require cosmic purpose. The universe can be mysterious without being meaningful in a cosmic sense.

Community matters more. If there's no cosmic plan bringing us together, then the communities we create matter more, not less. We're choosing to be in relationship with one another.

Practice creates structure. Without cosmic guidance, ritual and practice provide structure. Not because they're cosmically ordained, but because humans need rhythm, repetition, and intentionality.

What This Changes

Living without belief in cosmic purpose has changed how I approach:

Suffering

Old framework: "Why is this happening to me? What's the lesson?"

New framework: "This is happening. It's difficult. How can I bear it without being destroyed by it?"

The difference: No longer searching for meaning in the suffering itself; just being with it and choosing how to respond.

Guidance

Old framework: "What am I meant to do? Show me my purpose."

New framework: "What feels true? What calls to me? What seems valuable?"

The difference: Trusting my own sense of what matters rather than seeking external validation from cosmic purpose.

Success

Old framework: "Am I fulfilling my purpose? Am I on the right path?"

New framework: "Is my life meaningful to me? Am I living according to my values?"

The difference: Internal measure rather than alignment with external plan.

Death

Old framework: "When I die, I'll understand the purpose of my life."

New framework: "When I die, this conscious experience ends. The meaning was in the living."

The difference: The present moment matters more. There's no deferred meaning.

Other People

Old framework: "We were meant to meet. This relationship has karmic purpose."

New framework: "I choose to be in relationship with you. We create meaning together."

The difference: Relationships are chosen commitments, not cosmically ordained necessities.

The Freedom and Terror of Meaninglessness

Here's what's hard about accepting there's no cosmic purpose:

You're radically responsible. No one else - not the universe, not your soul, not destiny - is responsible for making your life meaningful. You are.

Failure is real. You can waste your life. You can make bad choices. There's no guarantee of working out as planned because there is no plan.

Death is final in a certain sense. Your individual consciousness likely ends. The meaning you created doesn't echo cosmically; it was for you, during your life.

Suffering is sometimes pointless. Not every hardship teaches a lesson or serves growth. Sometimes it's just destructive and wasteful.

There's no ultimate justice. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. The universe doesn't care about fairness.

But here's what's liberating:

You're free to create. Your life is yours to make meaningful. You're not bound by cosmic constraints or predetermined purposes.

Authenticity becomes possible. You can stop trying to be what you're 'meant' to be and discover who you actually are through living.

The present matters more. Since there's no cosmic endpoint justifying everything, this moment, right now, is where meaning happens.

You can change. You're not locked into a soul contract or destined path. You can choose differently.

Relationships are chosen. The people in your life are there through mutual choice and effort, not cosmic design. That makes them more meaningful, not less.

What Shamanic Practice Still Offers

So if shamanic practice didn't give me cosmic purpose, what does it give me?

Connection: To spirits, ancestors, other-than-human consciousness. Not because we're meant to be connected, but because connection is possible and meaningful.

Tools: For navigating difficulty, creating meaning, healing wounds, living skillfully.

Community: Other practitioners creating meaning together through shared practice.

Mystery: Experiences of consciousness beyond ordinary awareness. These don't prove cosmic purpose, but they make life richer.

Guidance: Not "here's what you're meant to do," but "here are some options, here's what I see, here's what seems true from this perspective."

Transformation: Practices that actually change how you experience yourself and reality.

Meaning-making frameworks: Cosmologies that help create significance even without cosmic purpose.

The shamanic path doesn't rescue you from existential freedom. It gives you tools for living meaningfully within that freedom.

Sartre Meets Ceremony

I sometimes imagine Sartre participating in a shamanic ceremony:

Sartre: "There is no cosmic meaning. We are radically free and terrifyingly alone."

The Shaman: "Yes. And we drum anyway. And we journey. And we call the spirits. And we heal. Not because we're meant to, but because we choose to."

Sartre: "Exactly."

Both are saying: The universe gives you no script. But you can still create something meaningful.

The difference: Shamanic practice provides methods, community, and connection.

Existentialism provides philosophical framework.

Together: A philosophy of meaning without purpose, practiced in relationship with mystery.

My Life Now

I don't believe I'm here for a reason. I don't think my life has cosmic purpose. I don't expect things to make sense or suffering to be meaningful.

And yet:

My life feels deeply meaningful. I have profound relationships with spirits, with clients, with practice. I create value through work I've chosen. I experience beauty, mystery, and connection regularly.

The meaning isn't less real because it's not cosmically ordained. If anything, it's more real because I'm creating it, not discovering it.

I practice shamanism not because I'm meant to, but because:

• It connects me to mystery

• It helps me help others

• It provides structure and rhythm

• It creates meaning through engagement

• It's beautiful and transformative

  
  

I live without cosmic purpose but with:

• Rich relationships

• Meaningful work

• Daily practice

• Chosen values

• Created significance

  
  

That's enough. That's more than enough.

An Invitation

If you've been searching for your cosmic purpose, I invite you to consider: What if there isn't one?

What if you're free to create whatever meaning feels true to you?

What if your life doesn't need cosmic justification to matter?

What if the relationships, practices, and values you choose are enough?

This isn't nihilism. It's not saying nothing matters. It's saying: You get to decide what matters. And that decision is real and weighty and meaningful.

Shamanic practice can help you create meaning. So can philosophy, art, relationships, work, parenthood, activism - whatever engages you fully.

But none of it requires cosmic purpose to be real and valuable and profound.

You're free. Terrifyingly, beautifully free.

What will you create with that freedom?

I'm Kathy Postelle Rixon, a researcher at Cambridge, Chair of The Philosophical Society: Oxford, and shamanic practitioner who found meaning without cosmic purpose. I don't have a predetermined path, but I've created a meaningful life through practice, relationships, and chosen values. If this resonates, reach out at kathy@magicinharmony.com or visit www.magicinharmony.com.

Do you believe in cosmic purpose, or are you creating meaning without it? How does your spiritual practice relate to existential freedom? I'd genuinely love to hear your perspective.